Here is an extract from his so-far unpublished memoirs.

Cor, I seen Thor in ‘is weak moments, when ‘e’s got caught short an’ everything. ‘E’s not always as tough as ‘e do think. Like that Hrungnir fight. That giant was built like a brick outhouse. Not just brick, solid rock like.

Even then, them old giants put in a substitoot. They made this thing as they called ‘Mist Calf’ or Mökkurkálfi in the old lingo. It were more than massive, made of clay reachin’ into the clouds, and they powered it with the ‘eart of a ‘orse. No, you’re not listenin’ — I said ‘orse, not Norse.

When Thor seed that thing ‘e peed ‘isself. True. I was there. I seen it. What with bein’ in ‘is corner I couldn’t ‘ave that. ‘Come on master, that ain’t Hrungthingy — you seen ‘im before — you know ‘e ain’t that big. Look — feet of clay. And I got my axe and whacked it’s legs, and the whole thing come down like fifty ton ‘o bricks which it was.

Then Hrungthing come in the arena, and ‘e were not ‘arf as big, but still bigger than Big. Thor was really pissed now, what with pissin’ hisself. I said “Come on boss — give ‘im the old ‘ammer. The Giant ‘ad a big three-sided whetstone as ‘e flung at Thor with no messin’ and Thor sent is ‘ammer to meet it.

Blam! The whetstone got smashed to bits but Thor got cut quite bad. I got ‘im ready for round two. “You’ve got ‘im boss. That was ‘is best shot. Here ‘s yer ‘ammer — when the bell goes get out quick before ‘e can pick up ‘is shield.”

What a round. Thor done like I said and whacked that giant to bits, just before it went down and crashed to bits it did a bit of leanin’ on and when it fell Thor was trapped under one of them mighty legs.

Although ‘e couldn’t get up, Thor was still declared winner. All the fans went off well pleased and I was left on my own to clear up and I could not get Thor out from under that leg. It were like a tree ‘ad fell on ‘im. I done me best but when he started shoutin’ at me I pissed off. Only I didn’t pee meself over it.”

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Article last revised on September 20, 2018 by Rowan Allen.
Editors: Peter J. Allen, Chas Saunders

References: Coming soon.

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