Forget Tiger beer or Cobra beer — what you really want is a refreshing glass of Soma brewed by Soma himself. This potent Booze of the Gods guarantees immortality. Not to mention immobility. It also has many other amazing properties — it gleams with a dazzling light and was even used as a fertility treatment by Sumitrâ.

Since the dawn of drink, Soma was brewed to a secret recipe using special plants and herbs. Unfortunately the recipe was so secret that it has now been lost — despite much eager investigation by thirsty researchers. Soma is pretty strong stuff and neither Gods nor mortals can remember much after a few noggins.

It is sweet and milky with a holy aftertaste, but we know little else. All we can tell you is that the main ingredient comes from the Soma plant. This mysterious herb was brought down from Heaven by Indra but has so far eluded identification.

Without a doubt Soma is — or was — one of the top gods in the holy world of intoxicating beverage mythology. His own brand drinks industry was a world leader, with a major brewery based on the moon.

In the good old days, the moon overflowed with dazzling Soma and gleamed as brightly as the sun. It was even known as ‘The Cup Of Soma’ and all the Gods could slurp from it for instant immortality top-ups.

Sadly, over the eons, Soma and his drink went a bit flat. Supplies of the Soma plant dwindled and the bright moon faded. Now, as you can see on any clear night, only the dregs are left. The former beverage king now just potters around on the moon under the name Chandra.

Still, dregs are better than nothing. We strongly urge NASA to push forward their next moon exploration program. Discovering fresh supplies of Soma and exporting it to Earth could greatly benefit the human race.

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Article last revised on September 18, 2018 by Rowan Allen.
Editors: Peter J. Allen, Chas Saunders

References: Coming soon.

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