These were the sons of Uranus and Gaia. They were not too bright, not having twigged they were mostly tree.

After naming them Briareus, The Vigorous, Cottus, The Furious and Gyges, The Big-Limbed, their parents decided they had done enough and hurled them to the world below the Underworld. There they stayed for a million or so years knowing no better life, until the time came when Cronus put paid to the fatherhood of Uranus and the big Gods vs Titans dust-up started.

Mother Earth Gaia was trying to be neutral, but she kept getting stomped and trampled on by both sides. She moaned to Zeus that this wouldn’t happen if her boys were around because they’d love their mum if she told them to.

Zeus, needing all the help he could get, nipped down to see the lads with a goodly selection of Godly liquid refreshment to win undying support. Selecting Briareus as the spokesman (as he could mumble more coherently than the others), Zeus managed to cut out some of the repetitive responses as the giants had fifty heads apiece without a decent brain between them. Eventually the unanimous ‘Yurse!’ was taken to be an oath of allegiance.

In action the brothers had the mindless violence and loyalty that ensured victory for the Gods, and as a special reward Zeus said they could go back to the lowest Underworld and guard such Titans as had surrendered.

That would have been the end of the matter if one day Zeus hadn’t got in a spot of bother. Apollo, Hera and Poseidon had ganged up on him with enough grievances to cause rebellion and had tied Zeus to his bed with a hundred unbreakable knots of cord.

Somehow Zeus managed to sneak a trunk call to the Underworld and Briareus came storming to the rescue like a dog to its master. If a dog resembled a very large tree that is. Wagging his branches and not knowing the knots were unbreakable, he snapped them without thinking and stood by as Zeus drew up some oaths of loyalty from the rebels.

Briareus thought he wood (all his thoughts were wood) be offered a new job as a minder for Zeus, but by the time this thought had sapped slowly through his heads he was back with his brothers guarding the Titans again. He is still trying to figure out why he is not still in Olympus. It is a knotty problem and brings him out in knotholes. “I coulda been a contender,” he mumbles.

Article last revised on November 07, 2018 by Rowan Allen.
Editors: Peter J. Allen, Chas Saunders

References: Coming soon.

Permissions page