According to hallucinogenic drug-infused Bwiti religion-cult, None popped out of the Cosmic Egg just after his sister Ninepone. The Creator God Mebeghe set them down in a lovely village on Earth, while their strange semi-sibling Evus lurked in the jungle nearby.

All was bliss for a while, but Evus became bored of lurking and started making a nuisance of himself. After a while he got bored of that too and sneaked around the outskirts of the village. There he bumped into Ninepone. One thing led to another and the two of them managed to seduce each other.

It was a case of ‘keep it in the family’ after Evus persuaded her to seduce her brother too. The world’s first case of incest led to the first human beings. But Mebeghe was very cross and banished her to the void just underneath the planet.

Meanwhile, None was faced with a multitude of screaming baby humans and no midwife. It was then that Evus proved he wasn’t entirely evil — just misunderstood. He sat None down and explained to him the secret lore of ironwork, carpentry, bookbinding, textiles and painting.

So a relieved and happy None became the very handy God of Doing It Yourself and set to work keeping the kids happy with toys, games, musical instruments, books and sports equipment.

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Article last revised on May 20, 2019 by the Godchecker data dwarves.
Editors: Peter J. Allen, Chas Saunders

References: Coming soon.

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