The first man ever was created by Maori, who popped him into the bottom of a lake along with a horn of Ngona oil. This is amazingly fertile stuff and soon the lake was full of aquatic life. But Mwuetsi complained bitterly. Not only were living conditions far too damp, he had gone right off raw fish.

So he was given a new start on dry land. But there was nothing there. Just rocks. And the oil had run out. So, more complaints to the highest authority. The apologetic Maori gave him a female companion named Massassi, plus a top-up of oil. A night of passion followed. But whoosh! Plants appeared. Lots of plants. In fact, nothing but plants. More complaints to the highest authority.

He was sent another woman, Morongo, but she produced nothing but animals. Maori asked him to lay off sex for a bit, but no, he raped her. As a result she gave birth to all the snakes, spiders and nasty creatures of the world.

The story has a moral ending. Mwuetsi rather fancied one of the snakes (we blame it on the Ngona oil). After an attempted liaison, it bit him and he died. Which was probably a blessing to all concerned. What Maori did after this we have no idea. Perhaps he went into therapy.

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Article last revised on November 02, 2018 by Rowan Allen.
Editors: Peter J. Allen, Chas Saunders

References: Coming soon.

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